Actions, Reactions, Realisations 🥺

Dear blog,
Someone asked me about you recently

I guess I was overwhelmed about the attention

I probably got scared at the possibility of expectation

I grew scared at the scrutiny and analysis I imagined would follow

And so, I did something I shouldn’t have

Someone asked about you recently

And with a chuckle of dismissal

I waved a hand and shrugged

As the words of betrayal flowed from my lips

‘It’s nothing serious,’ I said, ‘nothing professional. Just something I do for fun.’ ————

Someone asked about you recently

And since then, I’ve been evaluating my reactions

Why did I feel the need to shrink what you are

Did diminishing what you’ve become and mean make me feel better?

What exactly does my reaction tell about me?


Someone asked about you recently

Faster than a bolt of lightning, fear swept in

I could blame fear forever, but I won’t

I am responsible for my actions and reactions

And I’m glad… so glad that I can see that something’s wrong.

©Ọrẹolúwa Matemilola 2020 All Rights Reserved